Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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