i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
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I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
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Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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