Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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