you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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