In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize