sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
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No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
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He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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