She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize