Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize