therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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