just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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