good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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