Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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