I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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