So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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