matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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