i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize