she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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