somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
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smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
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After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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