we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
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You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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