Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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