i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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