It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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