my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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