The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
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mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
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The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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