I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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