Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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