i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
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That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
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i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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