I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize