im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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