operation harelip BJ is a go
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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