It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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