I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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