If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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