I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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