so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
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At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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