He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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