Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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