why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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