It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize