found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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