Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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