Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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