Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize