Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
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Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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