of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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