butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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