after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize