When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize