Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
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Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
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I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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