There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
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my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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